1.Years passed…
Years passed after we broke up… I never had time in life to think about her, and those good old days. Time heals every wound. Yes, this time just takes away from people those feeling of affection and pain, perhaps I loved to bear that pain than to be in joy. When we gone separated after a long friendship (or love), life was free of worries for me. After that painful separation I was sure that she never liked me anymore, although she proved me wrong-that love was still somewhere alive in her heart. She loved me once, years back when we were just stepping into a professional education. That legend of friendship and love was over more than a decade or so. Those last days were very painful, we fought and cried, and at last just stopped this relation in a few messages. I thought she would be fine if I stopped “disturbing” her- as she said. So I too never gone for a reunion or in her words “a compromise”, nor did she, although I sometimes dreamt of it.
But what is beautiful in this life if this love and friendship are just adjustments and “compromise”? Would anyone always love to adjust? Or rather like to live in his own way? We all are humans, just bare humans who cry, shout and like to be happy all time. And we are sometimes ruled by our heart and emotions rather than the logical brain. And may be that’s why we are ready to adjust with those loved ones. Also this social animal could not live by himself, he always need someone to share. And this is the fundamental philosophy behind every relation.
She was a friend whom I once thought could not loss. But we lost that sweet friendship in the course and timing of this world. Some silly fights that developed into big problems, which we never recognized as the end of our friendship. Of course, we have fought a thousand times over many silly problems- must men be taller? Must girls be slim? How is my hair style? And so on. Later we fought on much silly things like, “I don’t like you talking to that girl/boy”. At first she and me adjusted with each others such dislikes, later it became fights, she burst out into tears sometimes and life was sad most times, but after we solved every problem we could still love and care each other. Those were time I known her well, that silly good girl was more than a good friend… a good friend and my “sweetie pie” as I called her. This “possessiveness” as the society calls it arises in every relation. But most of them consider this phenomenon the sole sign of “love between a girl and a boy”. But it is in fact a sign of love for someone and the fear of losing that person. It is very natural, very common and almost inevitable.
Today is her marriage. That wedding card I consider as the biggest gift she ever given to me. That gift was so precious, after many years passed and a big surprise for me. I never thought that she would ever send me that, those struggles that broke our friendship and love had indeed such large impacts and magnitudes. Although we lived after that just like strangers, she was still in my mind, soul and everywhere. And I occasionally get some calls which I found later was from her. She phoned me at times, never spoke, kept silent listening to my voice, and wept sometimes and the line was cut. Later such signs also diminished. In this cold day of june I thought, must I go for her marriage?
Yes, june. Memories of june are precious, nostalgic and would fill my eyes with tears. It was one such june that I met her, those days are still clear in my mind… those precious days.